*Does not follow directions well*

I spent today making a mess of everything I touched. I started the day out by ruining the recipe I was supposed to make for enrichment tonight. Ruined it beyond repair. I would consider myself a simple, yet fairly capable cook, but apparently this recipes was above my skill level. It called for "two packages of unflavored gelatin". I've never actually used unflavored gelatin, so when I opened it I found four small envelopes inside, not the one large envelope inside regular jello flavors. I read and re-read the recipe, debating whether I should use two of the smaller envelopes or two whole packages. I finally decided on two whole packages, since the recipe said "packages" not envelopes. I mixed the other ingredients into the gelatin mixture and placed it in the refrigerator to chill for the allotted 45 minutes. Imagine my surprise, a mere three quarters of an hour later, to pull out a bowl of orange flavored rubber! At that point I was pretty sure I should have used two envelopes instead of eight. But, being somewhat stubborn and unwilling to admit defeat, I decided to "fold" it into the whipping cream. You know how even completely firm jello would break apart when beat with a mixer? Well, my mixer was no match for my gelatin concoction. No chance of it coming apart--it was solid as a rock. I tried to salvage what ingredients I had left and ended up with whipping cream sprayed all over my kitchen. Eventually I decided to make some sort of trifle with the rest of the ingredients, plus a few I had around the house. I didn't have enough instant pudding for my substitute recipe and had to use cook and serve, which I cooked in the microwave and had it boil over the bowl and all over the bottom of the microwave--I mean all over. In the meantime, Ian cleaned out two shelves of my pantry, dumped a carton of ice cream sugar cones on the floor which shattered everywhere. Then he threw my bottle of vanilla flavoring across the kitchen and the lid cracked open and spilled everywhere. Merry Grace took off her diaper and peed on the floor, a drink was spilled on our home phone, so it isn't working, the kids turned the freezer temperature off, so I found everything in the freezer thawing out this morning, and I'm not sure the refrigerator is keeping things cool. And the day is still young. I really want to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand--the sand of some warm beach in Jamaica, maybe. I'm pretty sure that would help. It's like I told one of my friends the other day, my grandpa used to say that if you swallowed a live toad first thing in the morning, the rest of the day had to get better from there. I think I just swallowed my toad. :)