What's Up?

Some people are getting antsy about my lack of posts around here.  (Mainly my dad. ;))  It's nice to be missed.

So what are we up to these days.  Maybe the better question is what are we NOT up to?

Here's some of what our life has looked like since May.

 We picked strawberries a few times.  Every time we go, each kid gets a bucket and we struggle to get as much as we want.  Usually someone will get tired or it gets too hot and so we just pick as long as we can and then pay for what we pick.  The first time we went, my kids turned into berry picking ninjas and we ended up with about five buckets.  Of course you pay for what you pick, so we ended up with over $30 worth of berries, despite going there because the berries were cheaper.  Joke's on me!

Ian finished up his baseball season.  We loved watching him play.  Nights at the ballpark are my favorite.

We said a sad and tearful good-bye to Uncle Logan before he headed off to Brazil.

 

 I have a ridiculous number of cute pictures of this kid on slides this spring.  He obviously loved them.  And that squishy face?!  I could DIE!!!!

We had our annual celebration for Cory's dad around Memorial Day and his birthday.  It's always tender to be at his gravesite, but also comforting to feel the love we all have for him.

Jay was OBSESSED with the water hose (still is, actually).  He loved playing with it, but his favorite was spraying some unsuspecting (or suspecting) sibling.  Ian was a great sport.  He didn't mind getting wet and he loved watching Jay giggle.

Another favorite from Spring was naps in the shade.  Sometimes the big kids didn't nap, but would just read a book on a blanket in the shade.  And this kid?  What is it about a baby that is just irresistible?

One thing we love is pizza night.  Our favorite is when I let the kids make their own crust and top the pizza any way they want.  It's super messy, but so fun for everyone.  And so delicious!!! One night, I was just making large pizzas rather than individual ones, but Paige was helping me, so I let her make her own pizza.  She decided not to put mushrooms or spinach on hers, like I was putting on the family pizza (can you imagine?). The kids were super impressed with her pizza and VERY interested in which toppings she had on hers.  Paige, ever the entrepreneur, saw an opportunity and charged her siblings $0.25 a slice for her pizza.


After realizing the length of this post, I've decided I'll just have to do a summary on each month to highlight our fun.

In the meantime, you can read an article I wrote for my friends' blog recently about pregnancy loss and what it's like when your family plan doesn't go according to plan.  It's the first of three articles I wrote, the next two will be posted each of the following Mondays.  Read it HERE.

Motherhood

Mother.  What a beautiful word that is.

Everyone has a Mother.  It's how we came to be.  Her sacrifice to carry us in her body for nine months, her gift of life as she gave birth.  Her sleepless nights.  Her love that put our needs ahead of her own.  We learned about life and love.  She watched us grow, helped us spread our wings, even as her heart ached a little to know that our independence meant a little less dependence.

Only not everyone had that kind of mother.

Some have mothers with whom time has also brought distance. Sometimes physical, sometimes emotional. 

There are others who had that kind of mother, but who has already passed on and left behind a gaping hole where her presence used to be.  

And then there is our own Motherhood.  Precious children who call us Mom. Mommy. Mama. Mother.  We adore and love them with our whole hearts.  We love their kisses, their giggles, their hugs.  They bring a joy that encompasses our soul.  

Only sometimes we are tired.  And exhausted.  Sometimes we yearn for personal space.  Or personal time.  Or less fighting and whining.  And sometimes we lose our patience.  And sometimes we doubt our ability to be the mother we want to be.

And then there are those who don't yet have children and may never have them.  Or women who have children, but yearn for more.  Or who have children they have lost.  Or babies who didn't even make it to birth.  

So this beautiful word--Mother--gets complicated.  And sometimes, this day we set aside to honor this divine calling, brings with it some heartache, in whatever form that might be.  Maybe it's that life didn't turn out the way we thought it would.  Maybe someone is missing who ought to be here.  Maybe cards didn't get made, or gifts bought or thank yous said.

Just as life isn't perfect, neither is Motherhood.  

We have a chalkboard in our kitchen.  I love chalk art and for birthdays and holidays I love to find a quote or saying to honor that occasion.  This morning, I wrote this message on the board, "You are the best mom anyone could ever ask for.  Happy Mother's Day."  And then my kids and a couple of my nephews who were visiting decided they wanted to write on the chalkboard.  

And then it looked like this.  

Oh how this made me laugh!  This is how a LOT of Motherhood is like for me.  It's imperfect, messy and complicated, but somehow still beautiful.  

I hope that tomorrow, despite how complicated Motherhood gets sometimes, that we can see past the heartache and see what being a Mother is all about.  LOVE.  One of my heroes, Marjorie Hinckley, said this, "The trouble with the world and the trouble with you and me is that we don't love each other enough. And if we do, we don't bother to show it, or we don't bother to say it. If the world is to know love, it has to be in your heart and in mine."

So if you have a Mother who you adore, tell her you love her.  If there is a Mother you admire, tell her so.  If there is someone who isn't a Mother in the traditional sense but has Mothered you in some way, tell her thank you.  If there is a Mother who you know is sorrowful, remember her.

I am forever indebted to countless women who have helped me become the woman I am today.  My own dear mother, first and foremost.  My grandmothers, aunts, and cousins.  Church leaders.  Friends.  As I treasure my precious children tomorrow, I honor all those amazing women who have shaped me in some way.  To you I say, "Thank You."

Happy Mother's Day! 

Time, and How There isn't Enough of it

The title pretty well sums it up.  I keep saying life is so BUSY.  But I've decided to change my tune.  Life is so FULL.  Busy seems like such a negative way to describe what my days look like.  Am I busy?  Without a doubt.  But it's so much more than that.  And busy doesn't even begin to cover it.

Between an active, cuddly (almost) 1-year old, homeschooling 3 and 1/2 kids (Paige gets about half the schooling and makes about double the mess of everyone but Jay), church responsibilities with the youth, sports activities for the older kiddos, their church activities, date nights with my cute, dear husband, keeping up with the house, feeding a herd of hungry kids, and trying to manage laundry well enough that we don't go naked makes for a very FULL life.

And when I do have those rare, precious moments that aren't FILLED with something, I'm not usually blogging.  So, dear readers, you have been neglected.

But here is an update.

What are some of the picture-worthy moments of late?  (If you're on Facebook or Instagram, some of these may be familiar to you.)

In no particular order (since this computer can't read my mind and it will take too much time to arrange it.)

Merry Grace was baptized!!!  What a happy, joyous occasion that always is.  Merry Grace looked beautiful and was thrilled with this day she had been looking forward to for months.  We couldn't be prouder parents of this precious little girl.

We are honored to be her parents.

This picture just speaks to my heart.  THIS is what most of the day was like.  (This is what most days are like for us.)  A little hectic, a little chaotic.  Not perfect.  But still wonderful.  I love the symbolism of what this means in relation to baptism.  Baptism is a reminder that we are imperfect and that we need to follow the only One who IS perfect because He is the only one who can turn our not-so-perfect lives into something MORE.  Every time I see this picture I want to laugh and cry at the same time because I am overwhelmed at how wonderful it is.

Once in a while, I have errands and I let the older kids work on school work in peace and quiet while I take the littles out.  It's nice for the older kids and nice to have some time with this cool cat and her little brother.

 Our life pretty much revolves around this kid.  He's adorable and precious and is oh-so-loved by every single member of the family that we just can't stand it.  I mean--just look at him!  Couldn't you just eat him with a spoon?

Also, he loves strawberries. :)

 Bedtime always consists of tucking all the kids in.  Usually Jay is still awake (still working on that sleep schedule thing with him) and so he gets good night kisses from all the kids and they love snuggling with him for a few minutes before they go to sleep.

 Another bedtime routine is a cup of hot chocolate for Cory and I after (most of) the kids have gone to bed.  We've fallen in love with a butter pecan creamer that we add to it.  It's fun to sit and talk and have a cup of cocoa, especially during this long, cold winter.  Since Jay is often still up, he has found he loves hot chocolate as well.  He won't let you have a cup without sharing.

 Despite some reports to the contrary, he does occasionally get upset, although with so many of his favorites at his constant beck and call, this doesn't happen too often.  But he's even cute when he's angry.  He even does this cute little trill, where it sounds like he's rolling one long "r" sound and it makes us giggle.  We all love his angry trill.

There have been a few GORGEOUS days tucked into this long, cold winter and we have soaked up every ounce of sun we could when they came.  They were basically perfection and we can't WAIT for spring.  Well, technically it's already Spring.  So Spring weather then.  That's what we want.

Sometimes this little guy still just snuggles and I love it.  I will never, EVER get tired of that.

 One night at dinner, Jay was fussing to get at our food.  On a whim I handed him the dill pickle from my plate.  He had no reaction at all, other than to gobble it down.  So he also likes dill pickles.  (So do I!)

 This was a day Jay was pretending to read a book, but that quickly turned into a game of Peek-a-boo with the older kids.  (Have I mentioned how darling we all think he is?)

 Ian has become our expert chocolate chip cookie maker.  He is really, really good at making them, so he gets requests to make them often, especially on Sunday afternoons.

He also participated in the Pinewood Derby recently.  He came in a SUPER close second to his cousin Charles-Allen.  They were adorable because they both wanted to win, but neither one wanted to beat the other one.  Charles-Allen won by one-one hundredth of a second.  So close and so fun.  Ian was a great sport and we were so proud to cheer him on in his last (sniff, sniff) one.

 Sometimes all you need in life to make you happy is a cardboard box and a friend.  I love these little ones to pieces.

Jay loves to snuggle.  Sometimes if I have things to do, I'll strap him into the carrier and tote him around while I work.  When he gets tired, he'll take my hand and cover his eyes.  I think it's so adorable and precious.  It's one of those things I wish he'd do forever.

I mean, really.  What do you want me to say.  Cutest baby around.

 I had Ian practice his cursive by writing a letter.  He got a lot of imaginary gold stars for this one.  ("Dear Mommy, You are the best mom ever.  I can not live with out you.  I love you so much.  Thank you for every thing you do.  Love, Ian")

 My parents got to come see one of Elise's volleyball games.  This sight just about made my heart burst.

We have LOVED cheering Elise on throughout this volleyball season.  She is such a great girl and works so hard and plays so hard.  We think she is amazing.

So there are a few highlights from our life.  Our FULL, wonderful, beautifully imperfect, crazy, chaotic life.

Blanket Statement

This fall, Elise began working on her first value project as part of the Young Women's Personal Progress program.  Her value project has to take at least ten hours and demonstrate the things she's learned.  She decided to sew a quilt.  We had quilt squares that Cory's sister, Lynetta, had cut out and pieced together from Cory's Dad's clothes.  Elise decided to add squares from shirts that came from both my Dad (her Papa) and her own Dad.  These are three men that she looks up to and respects and loves.  She wanted to honor them and remember them, and what better way than a blanket that basically feels like a big hug.

So we got to work.

I am not a master quilter by any stretch of the imagination, but I have made a few in the past.  I at least could help teach her some of the basics.

 She started out by cutting the squares she'd need.

 Looking so cute while she worked was just a bonus.

 She began sewing the squares together, which inevitably leads to ripping some seams apart and resewing them. Fortunately, this didn't happen too many times.

 There was a LOT of sewing.

 And even more sewing.

What was the most impressive to me, was her "I will do it" attitude.  Even when it was hard or frustrating.  Even when the deadline for having it finished was approaching and we were getting in a time crunch.  Even when I offered to help her along, she said, "No.  I will do it.  I want to be able to say I did it myself."  That was my proudest moment of the project.  Knowing that she had realized the value of working hard and seeing the result of that hard work was a great mom moment.  

When it was finally finished, it was beautiful.  It was beautiful because of what it represented.  It was beautiful because of the skills that were learned and the time we shared together.  It was beautiful because it was good.

This will be something she will be able to use and treasure for years.  And she will be able to look at it proudly because she did it herself.

The Way Things Are

"My job is to tell it like it is, or was, or whatever."

 If you love Disney's Robin Hood half as much as we do, you'll recognize that quote.  I was going through old pictures of my kids one day this week.  Moments like that always make me stop and take a step back.  I can't help but think about how quickly time passes.  

How am I not still this first-time Mom, devoting my days to this precious little girl?  

 How am I not still the busy mom of two, watching my little girl sparkle and giggling over this handsome boy's antics?

How am I not still the somewhat seasoned mom of three, sending my firstborn off to Kindergarten, chasing after my rambunctious little boy and being delighted by this little beauty?

 How am I not the twenty-something mom of an awe-inspiring 8 year old, an active little boy, a precocious toddler and this joyous little girl?

And how on earth did I become this tried and tested mom of a beautiful almost-teenager, a dedicated young man, a sweet and sassy almost 8 year old girl, a cheerful little girl, who isn't really so little, and this much-loved baby?

It's hard for me to imagine a time in my life I enjoy more than this time with my children.  I already miss the slower pace of life with very little ones.  I miss the days of dolls and trucks and fewer places to go and things to do.  I feel like time passes in the blink of an eye and I can hardly believe how grown-up my "babies" are.  And while I do profoundly miss the days that have passed, I also profoundly love the days that are here.  I want to treasure the past, but I don't want to miss the joy of today by looking too much to the past.  There are so many things that I love about my kids now.  There is something really nice about kids who can do things on their own.  And there is satisfaction in knowing you helped them get there.  Having kids who are a little more self-sufficient gives more time for Cory and I to spend together, which is always something I treasure.  It is beautiful to have adult conversations with your children.  It is incredible to watch them learn things and see them develop their testimonies.  And I see more of this in my future.

I still think its kind of rotten that after all the work you put into raising children, they just grow up and leave home.  (Kidding, Kidding.  Kind of. :))

But as (my hero) Sister Hinckley said, "As you create a home, don't get distracted with a lot of things that have no meaning for you or your family. Don't dwell on your failures, but think of your successes. Have joy in your home. Have joy in your children. Have joy in your husband. Be grateful for the journey.”  

Be grateful for the journey.  

Yes.  Yes, I am.

Peace

Three years ago (could it only be three years?!) December was a challenging month for me.  As much as I love Christmas and the feelings of Christmas and the joy of the season, a lot of what I felt was heartache.  Some joy.  Some peace.  Some happiness.  And a lot of heartache.  One night stands out in my mind as a night of bliss. It was the night of the annual Christmas Devotional.  What started that night as a sweet respite from the cares of the world, has become one of my most anticipated nights of the year.  This year did not disappoint.  We snuggled in together in our living room.  I made cups of yummy hot chocolate.  I brought up toasty blankets warm from the dryer and we turned on the Christmas Devotional to listen to messages of Hope, the Savior and and the Good News of the Gospel.  The Spirit filled our home tonight as we listened together.  The older kids understood more of the messages and made comments after their favorite talks, stories or songs.  The younger kids were a little squirmy at times.  After all, they are still little kids, even for the hour of the Christmas Devotional.  But once again, I felt the warmth of my home, the refuge that it is from the world and the peace of the Spirit as we sat together, as a family, and enjoyed the Spirit of Christ.  Most days the kids are a little rowdy.  Most days I'm a little too impatient.  Most days we are just a regular family.  But for at least one hour every Christmas, I feel like Heaven is in my Home.

Homeschool Part 2

Apparently there are people who enjoy my blog besides me.  So for those (two) of you who have missed me, here is a new post.

One of the questions I get asked most often is, "How is homeschool going?"  I've talked about this to some of you, but since this has been a big part of our lives since August, I figured posting about it here was worthwhile.

I have always loved my kids' time off from school.  I loved their breaks and was always sad when it was time to send them back to school.  I just like being around my kids.  Homeschool really makes that even more possible and I love it.  The transition has been easier than I thought it would be, in large part to my experience with Elise last year.  I honestly don't know if I could have started out having everyone home.  Last year broke me in to the routine, to the loss of free time, and the hard work that went into homeschool.  There have still been growing pains and adjustments.  Just like anything in life, there are certainly days where I feel like a failure.  There are days where things just don't go right.  Thankfully, that is not most days.  Part of that is just a part of life and not specific to homeschool.  Sometimes, no matter what the job or work I'm doing, I feel like I'm not getting it right.  I don't want to focus on the negative, but I don't want to completely gloss over it and make it sound like we live a rainbow and unicorns kind of life. I try really hard to look for the good and positive in my life, but we definitely have our share of times where things are not smooth sailing.  But I would imagine we can all relate to those feelings and experiences, so I'm not going to focus on those things.

Here is what goes really well that makes me love homeschool.

1. I love that I can see my kids individual strengths better than ever.  Elise is a quick and confident learner.  She's also a diligent worker who loves learning just for the sake of learning.  She doesn't cut corners.  She works hard and she works well.  Ian has a contagious enthusiasm for learning about things that interest him.  He has great memorization abilities and frequently impresses me with things he's learned and remembers.  He has great retention.  Merry Grace wants to push forward and exceed what is expected of her.  If you can spark her interest she will spread her wings and fly.  Paige is just learning how to learn in an more structured setting.  She loves feeling like she "got" a new concept and if you will just praise her efforts she will work with vigor and vim.  I love being able to see this side of their learning.  Of course they also have weaknesses, too, which were easily masked in traditional school.  But seeing them learn one-on-one has given me a chance to see those as well and give them a chance to grow in the areas they are strong in, as well as improve in the areas they are not so strong in.

2.  I love the challenge of figuring out ways to help them learn.  I love learning.  I love the opportunity to realize that one learns better in a certain way and giving them the opportunity to study and learn in that particular way which best suits them.  I love figuring out ways to improve their learning and our time in school together.  Sometimes it's as simple as realizing that one child learns better when given a time limit, ones works well independently, one needs guidance in a certain area, one likes learning on the computer and another one in books.  It is really neat to see how individual they are and how we can tailor their learning to them as individuals.

3.  Along that same line, although we really loved their elementary school, I have realized how ingrained the pattern of public school is in how they learn and often how I tend to teach.  I love being able to break away from that.  For example, say they do a math lesson, but get several problems wrong, not just from careless or simple mistakes, but from an obvious lack of understanding.  In the beginning, they would get upset or stressed if they had to spend longer on a certain concept.  In school, you move along at the pace of the class and if you don't, then it indicates that you are "behind".  Not getting something is seen as a bad thing, not just a normal part of learning.  But not in homeschool.  If you don't understand something, then we can spend as long as it takes until you get it.  So we don't have to push ahead just to keep on a schedule.  Our goal is not a test.  We are not trying to get a unit done in X number of days to stay on schedule.  Our goal is learning and comprehension and we will do whatever it takes or spend whatever time it takes to make sure that happens.  I love tailoring school to the individual.

4.  I love having the older kids help the younger kids.  I love seeing the older ones learn patience and learn how to teach concepts as they spend time with the younger ones.  I love seeing the younger ones bask in attention and praise from the older kids.  There is wonderful learning and bonding that takes place when this happens and I love it.

5.  I love the flexibility.  I love taking a blanket out in the yard and doing school work in the warm fall sunshine.  I love being able to choose books to read together, aloud.  I love being able to incorporate morals, values and religion into what we learn.

6.  Mostly I love our time together.  I love how homeschool stretches us as we learn patience, love, encouragement, and happiness as we live together and learn together.  It challenges us in many different ways, but I love it and I love seeing how it is making us better.  And that it gives us time to do a lot more of this...

It has not always been sunshine and roses.  Some days have been hard.  Really hard.  But it has been wonderful.  I am still learning.  I have a long way to go.  But I am so glad we are getting this experience.