insomniac

ok, saying i have insomnia might be carrying it too far. but i haven't been sleeping as well/as much as i would like. i have trouble settling down at night and have been waking up around 4:30am and am not able to go back to sleep. i'm not sure what time i'm falling asleep--10pm is my best estimate, which gives me 6 1/2 hours if my math is correct. i'm not feeling exhausted, but not exactly rested either. i'm not sure what is causing this, except that maybe i don't feel like i have enough time to get everything i need to done. there is always, always more to do. but i don't feel an unusual amount of pressure to get things done--no more than is always there. so i don't know what the deal is. even just one more hour would make a huge difference. at least in my head. 4:30 is just earlier than i want to see daylight....

what were they thinking?

this is what i think about the bishopric calling me to be the choir pianist--what were they thinking? today i had the first run-through of music for the christmas program & i feel out of my league. the music is beautiful & not terribly difficult in some aspects. but there is a lot of music and some of it is hard. i just feel like there are so many more talented people than me who could/should be doing this. i feel very inadequate. but even as i typed this, i realized that it wasn't actually the bishopric who called me, but the Lord. and i'm not sure the question i posed at the beginning would be the best one i could ask him....although i'm tempted. so i guess i'll just practice more and harder and maybe in two weeks when we go at it again, things will be better. fingers crossed?

ian's birthday

today i am remembering feeling your first kick inside my tummy. i am remembering a moment in the evening, three years ago when i first saw your dark hair and heard your cry as you entered the world. i can see your tiny fingers grasped around one of mine. i can feel your feet and legs tucked into a ball as you snuggled next to me. i think if i breathe in deeply enough, i will be able to smell that sweet baby scent.

today i am remembering your bright smile, your ready laugh, you long, baby blonde hair almost touching your eyes. i am remembering your little legs as you toddled around the house. i am also remembering the nights you snuggled up next to me as you slept and i held you close.

today i think about your excitement over turning three, your love of spiderman and the simple pleasure of a green cake. i am thinking of your cute expressions, your hugs and your kisses.

today i am thinking of you--who you are, who you were, and who you will yet be. i love you.

funny

my friend susan wrote the other day about kids saying funny things and i thought of a couple of funny things my kids have said recently that i don't want to forget.

ian calls belts "seat belts". i think its a funny play on words.

elise said the funniest thing last night. i don't know if the humor in it will translate well through cyberspace, but it makes me chuckle. she was pooping in the bathroom and i was brushing teeth, washing my face, etc. right outside the door. she opened it and makes this really loud pooting sound with her mouth. the she said, "you know what mama? instead of saying that nasty word "poopy", when we need to poopy we just go, "brrrhgrrrhhhrrrr" (tooting sound). that would sound much more nicer." then she just shut the door back & i cracked up. what a funny kid.

and he makes a mad dash...

my calling in the ward is choir pianist. this means that i have to be at church 1 hour and 15 minutes early and, of course, play for all performances. this past sunday the choir sang a number we'd been working of for a month or so. it's been coming along nicely and everyone was ready to perform. cory happened to be out of town this weekend on business and i was concerned about how to manage my calling and three little ones on my own. so, when all else fails, ask your mom. they graciously agreed to come help out and everything was going as smoothly as anything ever goes. after the second speaker, i headed up with the rest of the choir members, leaving mama & daddy and merry grace at one end of the pew, logan at the other end, and elise, ian, and their cousins kyleigh and marleigh in the middle. about a third of the way through the song, out of the corner of my eye, i see ian coming up onto the stand and proceed to climb up on the piano bench beside me and begin talking about how white the keys are. after a few minutes, he hopped down and took off running down the church aisle. a few minutes later, about 3/4 of the way through the performance, he came back at full speed and was back at my side. he stayed there through the end, talking very loudly about how fast he could run, but wanted to run back to my folks and since i wouldn't let him, had to carry him off the stage and out the door in a mini-tantrum. it was really funny. i should have warned my parents because the last time the choir sang, he did the same thing. but now we definitely have a pattern. what a rascal.

what the kids are up to.

merry grace has had quite the week. she is crawling well--not fast--but well. she's also pulling up onto everything in sight and standing up like a big girl. and she cut her first tooth!!! plus she has her first really bad cold, but is surviving it with her usual cheerfulness. she only screams when you wipe her nose. ;) so she's had many milestones this week.

ian is revving up for his birthday this weekend. he tells everyone he'll be three on his birthday and its so cute to watch him manuever the three fingers up. that ring finger can be quite tricky. i'm struggling with what to get him as his present from us. i'm thinking something spiderman, but i'm not sure exactly what to get him. maybe i'll be inspired at target.

elise continues to brave the world of kindergarden each day. cory ate lunch with her yesterday & she loved that. she's also been taking ballet and tap with kyleigh & emmy, her two cousins who live up here. i think she prefers tap becuase she likes the tappy tap sound. its pretty cute. they look adorable out there.

elise's standards

elise is big on standards and what is right & wrong. we've been talking about modesty and it has made a big impression. one of the first days of school she was telling me about who all brought applesauce for their lunches. she goes, "i had applesauce, abigail had applesauce, and immodest girl had applesauce." the way she said it made it sound like "immodest girl" was some sort of superhero (or maybe super villian, as the case would be). it was so funny. but i was proud of her for paying attention.

she also told me that her teacher's aide has two earrings in each ear. she wondered why she did that since president hinckly said it was wrong. i told her that she'd probably not heard of president hinckley and so she didn't know it was wrong. so elise said, "well, i'll have to tell her about him so she'll know. then she can take her earrings out." it was just so matter of fact for her.

cory has instituted a "turn it off" policy. if there is ever something bad on tv the rule is to turn it off right then. the same goes for the internet. or if you are around something bad, you are supposed to walk away. kind of how joseph ran from potiphar's wife. anyway, this has left a lasting impression with elise and she talks about it frequently. the other weekend cory's parents were here and had the tv on. elise walked by while a commercial was on. apparently she saw something immodest on it. just to be fair, the show they were watching was totally appropriate, but there was something immodest on one of the commercials. you know how they like to slip things in...and if there is something immodest or inappropriate, elise will catch it. it could be a sleeveless shirt and she will see it. we affectionately call her our morality monitor.

the other thing elise is fiercely against is "smoke". this means cigars, cigarettes, pipes...whatever. they are all called "smoke". she will not even step on one that has fallen on the ground. some workers had come to our house the other day and had smoked in the yard and left the butts in the driveway. elise spotted them right off and was furious. we had to get paper towels and pick them up to throw them away. but even that was a challenge, as she wanted no part of them, even at that range. the other morning she saw one across the road from her school where we had parked to walk her in. cory stepped on it and elise let him know it. you would have thought he had stepped on a rattlesnake. it was really funny and cute.

so, in some ways, she might have taken things a step too far. but i have to say, i'm glad she has. i want her to understand what is right and what is wrong and not be afraid to stand up for what she believes in. so far, she seems to be on the right track. maybe we all could stand to be a little more like that at times or regarding certain things. she's definitely made me think about where i stand on things.

life in these parts

life is moving along at a fast clip around our house. i don't know how you other mothers feel now that school has started, but i feel like our little world has just sped up. elise is loving kindergarden which makes us all happy. i love going to pick her up every afternoon and see her little self standing outside waiting with her little backpack on. she looks so small and yet so grown up all at the same time. mostly, sending her off hasn't been as sad as i thought it would be. not that i don't miss it, but she loves school & seems to enjoy her time there. and ian & gracie and i have fun at home. but i have moments where it hits me. on friday i just sat down on the floor in merry grace's room with she and ian and felt all blue that elise wasn't there, too. i just wanted to hug her. but when i start pondering on it too much it makes me too melancholy. and that's no fun. so i just try to enjoy the goodness of it.

we went to the ice cream place after school on friday & had a blast. we all branched out (well, except for ian) and tried some new flavors. elise got a scoop of cookies and cream and a scoop of banana pudding. cory got blueberry and i got a scoop each of cake batter & pumpkin pie. ian went with his staple of cotten candy. its actually a pale blue color, but its borderline green and he calls it green which is his favorite color. so that's all he'll eat. (we kind of tricked him into this because he wanted the mint chocolate chip b/c it was green, but he didn't like the sample. so we conned him into the cotten candy....) anyway, it was lots of fun.

then we bought a movie off of cable, the chronicles of narnia. i thought it was great, really well done. i thought it was a little grown-up, though. ian was a little nervous about it before he fell asleep, as was elise, although not as much as ian. and they typically don't get scared by stuff like that. i think some of it was that we had all the lights off and the music was intense. the mood really affected how you felt about what was happening. even i jumped a time of two. cory made his famous homemade popcorn (mainly for elise who loves it when he does that.) it was a fun night. plus, elise came and slept in our bed last night which i loved. its such a sweet snuggly thing & i miss her doing that. so i was glad she wandered in.

cory went to the unc vs. VA tech game which his heels lost. but he had fun. any UNC game is fun for him. i spent the day "boring organizing" as elise put it. i've been cleaning, throwing out, and straigtening up our closets. i've finished elise's and gracie's and am about 90% done with mine. it feels so good to have it neat and in order. i love it.

after cory came home, we went out in the yard and played for a while. elise practiced cartwheels, ian rode the tricycle, we jumped on the trampoline, played on the swingset, and even did a little tball and kickball before heading inside for baths. elise also went across the monkey bars all by herself several times & was quite pleased with herself. as well she should be!!!

so life is going fast, but we're happy and loving it. so you can't ask for much else.

our adventure

tonight we decided to take the family for a walk. elise was in from school, we'd had supper and it seemed a nice evening to be outdoors. so we trekked out with merry grace in the double stroller, elise in her tennis shoes, ian in his spiderman bedroom slippers, max on his leash and of course cory & i. we called it our adventure and we found what elise called "clues" along the way. everything from wildflowers to pine needles to the driveway rocks that ian & elise threw and chased after. the neatest thing we discovered were the mushrooms all along the road. i guess the recent rains and the humidity and everything had caused them to grow quite well. elise and ian were slightly intimidated by the first ones because they felt kind of weird. but after a while they were picking them right and left. we had such a fun evening together and everyone had a good time. the walk was about 1.3 miles and probably took us 30 or 40 minutes by the time all the discovering, stopping for cars to pass and the general adventure of five people and a puppy out and about was said and done. the funniest part was that when we were about .2 of a mile from our front porch--within sight of the house--the bottom fell out. i mean it started pouring rain and we got drenched. our neighbors across the street who were sitting on their porch had a good laugh as we ran our hardest the last leg of the trip. they gamely called out, "you almost made it" and so on and so forth. but we did have a great time together. my little bunch is just fun to be around!

elise's first day of school pictures

now that is a backpack! it's half her size!
she is all set and ready to go in the outfit she picked out all by herself.

she's so sweet.ian gave her a big "bye" hug.

 

buckling into the car...
walking into school
elise's nice teacher
playing in her classroom

 

red-letter days

yesterday was elise's first day of kindergarden. we had prepped and prepared her for the big day. we had gone school shopping with her cousins and their mom's, she had every school supply known to man, she'd had her immunizations, her health check, her orientation, and a partridge in a pear tree. the night before, cory gave elise & ian father's blessings. it was a sweet tender moment for all of us. that night, i felt the sadness of sending elise off into the lone and dreary wilderness. we were going to miss her being gone for 6 1/2 hours every day. she does so much around the house and is just fun to be with that i knew we would feel a loss with her gone. that night, as i went from room to room checking on the little ones, i was overwhelmed with the weight of the responsibility entrusted to me. i couldn't believe that three lives were completely given to me for me to nurture and care for. and then i couldn't believe that so much of it had passed already. so i had myself a good cry and except for a somewhat sleepless night, i was ready for the day ahead. we all felt a little excitement as elise put on her school outfit, packed her backpack and got ready. i thought she seemed so grown up and yet sooooo small as we walked her to her classroom. she was a little nervous and felt a little sad, but she was so brave and i was so proud of her. we had read the scripture in josua that morning, chapter one verse nine that refers to being strong and of a good courage. and i think that's what she was. i think it was an important moment in her life, to overcome the aprehension and realize she would be okay. and she was! when we picked her up at the end of the day, she had had a great time. she really liked school as we knew she would. ian missed her a lot too. every little bit he wanted to go pick her up. i think he had a good day with us, but he felt the difference with her not there. afterwards, we we went to our favorite ice cream place and everyone got cups of homemade ice cream. it was certainly a red letter day for all of us. to top it all off, last night everyone slept in their own beds all night. i think this is the first night in five years that cory and i have had the bed to ourselves. amazing! i was proud of all three kids for doing so well, but a part of me was sad that they weren't there with me. i love snuggling with them and i felt a twinge of "they don't need me to help them sleep anymore." it was another sign that they are growing up so fast and spreading their own wings. being a parent is the most wonderful, difficult thing i could have ever imagined. but i wouldn't trade being one for anything!

Annoying Survey

I got a survey from a friend. It has 63 questions which is entirely too many for even a survey junkie like me. But I thought I would occasionally post a few of the entries in a blog post. So here are the first 10.

1. Song that always makes you sad? It’s a Christmas song…maybe by Alabama. I think the name is “red shoes” or something like that. Its supposed to be sweet, but I think its so horrible it should never have been written.

2. Last thing you bought? Ice cream after Elise’s first day of school. (I had chocolate turtle and brownie batter. the turtle was not that great. shocking, i know. the brownie batter was YUMMY. I sampled several different flavors--pumpkin pie and apple pie. the pumpkin pie was really good. i would like to get a cup of it sometime...if i could ever get away from my chocolate addiction.)

3. Last person you argued with? Probably Cory. But I don’t think it was a big argument.

4. Do you put Butter before putting the peanut butter on? No. But Grandma Delia does. She makes a Peanut Butter and Butter sandwich. There's a story that once we were going to a family reunion or something right after church and grandma had packed a PB&B sandwich to eat afterward. When she went in the church kitchen to get it out of the fridge, she found it there with one bite taken out of it. I guess someone wasn't familiar with this type of sandwich.)

5. One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid? Bubbles. It was a stuffed St. Bernard. Elise has her now.

6. Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies Cd? No. I own very few CDs. I have lots of downloaded music, so i may have a song of theirs, but i can't recall right off.

7. Favorite day of the week? Probably Friday. I love the anticipation of the weekend. Friday night is the best.

8. Favorite Sundae topping? Chocolate and caramel. It has to be both.

9. Did you take Piano lessons? Yes.

10. Most frequent song played? If this means on the piano, its probably the pieces I’m practicing for choir. If it means on CD….I don’t have something I play repeatedly.

men are great to have around

this is not a new concept to me, but yesterday i was reminded again how grateful i am to have cory around. the kids and i spent the day at the beach yesterday and had the best time ever. the weather was perfect, the waves were perfect, the kids were wonderful....an all-around good time. since we didn't get home until around 7:30 or so, cory had worked a little late and then gone out to eat with his brother (whose wife & kids were at the beach with us) before heading home. he brought with him half of a french dip sandwich from logan's roadhouse. i had just snacked at the beach all day and hadn't had a real meal, so i was thrilled that he brought me his leftovers. the sandwich was delicious and filled my tummy and warmed my heart that he thought of me.

our trash pickup is on mondays, so cory brought the trashcan back down the driveway when he got home. sometime later that evening he mentioned that he was going to wash out the trashcan because there were bugs (maybe maggots) down in it. pretty gross. let me just say, that if i knew there were bugs down in that garbage can, and it were left up to me, they could have eaten through the daggone plastic before i would taken it around back to wash it out. not interested, no thanks! so, i was so thankful that cory was around to take care of us and take care of those manly details. what a great guy!

the santa complex

elise believes in santa claus. as a little background, i never believed in santa claus, even as a child, while cory's family were strict adherers to the santa code. he has good memories of believing. so yesterday elise asked me, "does santa claus go to sleep?" then she asked about the elves and then said, "and i know those reindeer go to sleep!" its been bothering me ever since. i realize that its august, not christmas eve, so that there isn't an iminent concern here. but since its in the genes, i might as well start worrying about it now. i feel like i'm lying to her. maybe that's too strong, but its close. in legal terms, i feel like i'm perpetrating a fraud on my sweet little girl. i think i'm afraid that once she's in school, someone will tell her that santa isn't real and she'll say, "yes he his. my mama & daddy said he is." and then i'll feel like dirt and she won't trust me. so my dilema now is, what do i do about this. should i just keep on letting her believe in her childhood magic and figure that it will resolve itself somehow. or should i do something to break the news to her? and if so, how? i thought maybe i could tell her about the real saint nicholas and the history of christmas (in short, simple, 5-year old terms) and then tell her that santa lives on when we are giving....or something slightly more eloquent when i've had time to think more about it. i'm just not sure. did you believe in santa when you were little? and did believing or not affect you in any way? and what should i do? any thoughts?

eat your veggies!

as the head chef in our family, i had the most rewarding moment last night. too often the well-planned menus, the creative and diverse dishes, and the love and effort put into them go quite unappreciated by the small fry in our house. frequently there are comments such as, "that's disgusting", "i'm not eating that", "what is that red thing", or "does this have mushrooms in it?" heard round the dinner table. i assumed that last night would be no different. i prepared a chicken stir-fry with fresh cabbage, zuccini, and squash, along with some frozen peppers and onions. the teryiaki seasoning just finished it off. i thought it was delicious, but thought that the vegetables might overwhelm the kids. i couldn't have been more wrong. i'm not exactly sure how or why it happened, but they couldn't get enough of the zuccini and squash, and a little cabbage. they ate all the squash and zuccini out of the dish and then asked me to cook more. they even ate them again for lunch today and thought they were great. ian even ventured into the onions and declared that he loved them. i was so excited over the whole thing i could hardly contain myself. it was the biggest thrill. elise told me today that Jesus thought yesterday was the healthiest day ever. i couldn't agree more!

its only a test....

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 9 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

my only question now is, "which one did i miss?"

Our New Puppy

After the loss of Milo, we felt lost without a puppy to love. So we have a new addition to our family--a yorkiepoo named Max. He's the sweetest little guy and we just love him to pieces. I think Elise said it best. After Milo passed away, we began talking about getting another puppy and how even if we got another puppy, Milo would always have a special place in our hearts. Elise pointed to three spots on her chest and said, "These are the spots for Milo." Then she pointed to another spot on her chest and said, "And this would be the spot for the new puppy." She's so right and expressed better than i did. So Welcome Home, little Max.

I really think he thinks he's a baby. Somewhere along the line, somebody forgot to tell him he was a puppy.
Elise and Ian love the little guy. They are so good at taking care of him and giving him lots of love.
If Merry Grace is one the floor, Max is determined to be right beside her. Another sign he thinks he's a baby.
And here's proof positive. He really did this and did it on his own. We were all playing in the floor when Cory goes, "Hey! Look what Max is doing!" And there is was with a passy in his mouth! So cute. 

And here are a couple more of Max and the passy. He's done this one more than one occasion. He also likes to climb in Merry Grace's portable baby swing. Next thing you know, we'll be tucking him into the crib at night. =)

the melting pot

cory & i celebrated our seventh anniversary by going out last night to a restaurant called the melting pot. for those of you who may not have heard about it, its a fondue restaurant. for our first course we got a pot of three different types of cheeses (fontina, bleu and butterkase) and were given veggies, bread & granny smith apples to dip into it. it was so delicious. i love cheese and this cheese was so rich and creamy and wonderful. this was definitely a highlight. for our next course, we had salad. i had the strawberry almond, cory had the california salad which had a raspberry vinaigrette. i loved the berries in mine, but cory's dressing was awesome. next we ordered entrees. cory got a cajun combination (shrimp, chicken & sausage). i got shrimp and sirloin. we chose the method of cooking (mojo) and began our main course. it was kind of time consuming to cook each individual piece of meat, but it was really, really good. and it was a fun experience and gave us time for lots of good conversation. we also had potatoes, broccoli, squash & mushrooms that we cooked along with the meat. after the main course, we had a chocolate fondue with a swirl of crunchy peanut butter mixed in. we had strawberries, pineapple, bananas, pound cake, brownies, cheesecake and marshmellows to dip in it. WOW! it was the best thing ever. i cannot speak highly enough about it. yummyummyummyummyummyummy.......it was really delicious food, great company, and a fun way to celebrate seven wonderful years of marriage and many more to come!